Right now, my beautiful, 20-something cousin who is also one of my bffs, is at the gym. She’s feeling stressed because she and her delightful bf are traveling to a hot and sunny destination soon. She feels as though she is not bathing suit ready. When she told me this, I told her that although I would chop off pretty much any of my limbs to have her physique, that I understood that matters of the body are all relative and the way one feels about themselves cannot be changed just because someone else says you don’t need to feel bad. Does that make sense?
So, I don’t want you to think that I’m under the mindset of “Hot People Know You’re Hot” and “Not People Know You’re Not”…because I’m not. I get it.
Here’s the thing…does anyone really LOOOVVVE their body? I truly wonder how many people would say that, honestly. Not just a, “My body gets me from A to B and so I love it” kinda answer…like, that’s how people talk about their crappy car, “It gets me to work so it’s just fine!” No. I mean, like, who’s saying, even if it’s just to themselves and not out loud (I mean, if you can say it out loud, good for you…) who’s saying, “I really LOVE how my body looks”?
Not many, I bet. Sadly. Except for Samantha on Sex and the City.
I will say that being a plus-size lady myself, I do have a good amount of confidence. Do I LOOOVVVE my body? No. I mean, yes, I like that it gets me from A to B and that I have somewhat good health, besides the heart disease, thinning hair and probable A.D.D. But, listen, I have been known to wink at myself in a mirror from time to time when I think I look cute. ;) And, I can definitely say the words, “This outfit looks good on me.” Or maybe, even a…”I look hot in this.” Like, maybe on my birthday night and we’re out at “Lobster in the Rough” and I’m wearing a dress and I have a pretty good tan and I’ve had a couple Peach Sangria’s, then yes, maybe. No, seriously….I’ll say it totally sober. I mean, not right now with my yoga pants and York Beach zip-up hoodie on, but on another day, yes.
What am I getting at? I’m not sure yet. Hold on a sec….
Okay, I remember…A couple things actually, that’s what I’m getting at.
1. Body Image is tough for everyone. We’ll never be able to see ourselves through someone else’s eyes. Trust me, I’ve tried. I have this bad habit and it’s really embarrassing, but TFC is about being real and honest stories of the heart. Right? No wait, it’s supposed to be about hilarious random topics that everyone can relate to…kinda like Seinfeld….crap.
Well, let’s talk about real and honest stuff today, which will likely be hilarious and random to some. So…(and please comment on this blog if you’ve ever done this too so I can feel better about myself….) there are a few people in my life that I feel close enough to that won’t judge me and might even be understanding of me when I point out a fellow plus size civilian woman and ask my friend or my Mum while shopping at a grocery store one day, “Am I as big as her?” Omg. I just said it. That’s awful, isn’t it?? I do this because I cannot see myself through someone else’s eyes. Get it? But, this is really a stupid question, because either you will A. Not like the answer or B. Not believe the answer you are given. How’s my spiel about me having confidence go again?? It’s just a curiosity thing! Can I get a what what about this, anyone??
Here’s the thing…no matter what the actuality of your body type is, thin, large, medium, tall, grande, venti…whatever…there’s always things you don’t like. And that is unfortunately just human nature. Just something we all have to accept. Because deep down, we’re all just stupid, stupid people.
But, as summer approaches and the thought of pulling on those Lycra and spandex suits comes closer (stop throwing up in your mouth a little!!) let’s try two things. Let’s try to be both the person that says, “My body is like my bf’s crappy Jetta, it’s gets us from A to B, but it sure could have a less rusty body.” AND also be the person, like my cousin, who is at the gym on a cold winter’s night probably running on a treadmill like she was Usain Bolt or maybe like Winona Ryder running away from Saks Fifth Avenue that time she stole $5500 worth of clothes…either way, she runs at a good clip, I’m sure.
(Did she really need that hat?) (Loved you in Heathers!)
Don’t settle on your body if you don’t like it. Keep trying. Screw up. And try again. Let’s not give up. I want to lose weight, I want to be able to not just buy tank tops at H&M (thanks for the generous sizes, H&M) and I want to look like….my cousin. (Does that mean I should be running on a treadmill right now and not writing this blog?? Crap.) And, I think she wants to look like Beyonce. (I think she’s just as gorgeous as Beyonce.) (Her bf kinda looks like Jay-Z too…)
Remember how I said I was getting at a “couple things” and then I put a “1.”? Yeah, I didn’t have a “2.” I can’t remember what my other thing was. If I think of it, I’ll comment below…so, check back in like a week…
Listen, be happy. Whether you’ve got a dented Kia or a Mercedes for a bod…someone is still judging you at the grocery store. Just kidding. ;) No…not really. :/
Heart you, all you skinny bitches… ;)
P.S. Get ready for my upcoming series (of blogs) about my “90 Day You Better Work Biotch Challenge!!” (I’m just challenging myself, don’t worry, I’m not going to try to sell you anything…)
P.P.S. The title of this blog is dedicated to my Elliptical Theme Song. Thanks Brit.