I’ll Punch My Scale in the Face. Right in the Face.

Punch My Scale.

Today is Wednesday. Hump Day to some. To me, it’s “WIW” or “Weigh-In Wednesday”…aka Nightmare Day for my bf or Day of absolute joy for everyone that comes my way. Usually not the latter. Because, for example, today…I lost two pounds. I should be happy, right? “They” say two pounds a week is what you want to lose so that you’ll keep it off. So, good. I’m aligning with “they” or “them”…however….when I came back last week after being in Scotland for two weeks which involved things like, daily ice cream tastings, baked goods out the wahzoo, fried haggis dumplings, many, many tatties and I will admit…one Stenness Monster. What is a Stenness Monster you ask? Oh, it’s just an ice cream cone the length of my arm filled with amazing, local (there are cows everywhere, people) premium ice cream. 7 scoops. I had this. I didn’t try to count the exact number of calories, but I’d say maybe somewhere in the HOLY SHIT range. Somewhere in that vicinity. So, yeah…when I weighed myself last WIW, I had gained an impressive 2.4 pounds. I say impressive because two years ago when we went, I gained about 8 pounds. So, up 2.4, I’ll take it.

This weeks goal was to shed that 2.4 plus a little cushion, no pun intended…but I only lost two. So, like I said, there was no joy. I’m not one of those, “I came so close, good job Girl!” people.

I had a pretty good week too, besides the bottle of juice I finished in the fridge (it HAD to go!), the two cupcakes I had at my niece’s birthday party (they were made by my Mother and were ocean themed…what was I NOT going to have one, I mean two??) the multiple bullseyes that were in the Treat Jar that needed to get out of this house and of course, not doing a smidge of exercise…I did pretty good, I think.

So, this week, I am vowing to be amazingly perfect and awesome. I will eat perfect, exercise like an ex-Jersey Shore member who had a baby a while ago and just got announced to be on Dancing With the Stars. (I hate saying this, I follow her on Instagram and she’s like ALWAYS working out.) Whatever I like Snooki. That’s a whole other article. “Don’t Hate on Snooki” by Chick A. Rebuttal by Chick E.

Just FYI, I have about 80+ pounds that I’m trying to shed. And like most difficult things in life, the getting there part…all the failing and hurting myself and sneak eating jars of frosting in the bathroom, that’s where the funny stuff is…so, follow along…as I continue my life-long journey down, “Chubbyville USA”…no, I’ve never called it that before. I don’t know, I was trying to be light and funny (name of website is gonna burn me in the end!!), but it was stupid. Sorry.

Okay, I heart you. (I don’t heart Wednesdays though. Wednesdays can basically go F themselves…)

-Chick A

Oh, can’t really picture the Stenness Monster I spoke of? Well, you’re in luck…

Holy Stenness Monster.


2 responses to “I’ll Punch My Scale in the Face. Right in the Face.

  1. Yeah, exactly. I’m a REALLY good friend, E…I wasn’t going to let you eat all that Orange Leaf, Yogurtlicious, Tutti Fruitti, Cold Stone and 4 trips a weeks to Chipotle by yourself, was I??? Umm…no. I care about you too much.

    Also, another good post would be, “That Sound You Have to Make With Your Throat After You Have Too Much Dairy at Cold Stone.” (There’s A LOT of dairy in those, FYI…)


  2. Amazing pic. Snooki? Really? Love you. Back at it when I’m back to work. We’ll make that gym our bitch. And then we’ll go get fro-yo. Right? As a reward? I’m clearly a detriment to your weight loss goals. We should have a post about your sympathy weight gain during my pregnancy.


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