In my basement…(every blog should start off with “In my basement”…) I have a large Rubbermaid 3-drawer thing. And, I’d like to take this platform, our new blog and finally tell the world what I keep in there. It’s a horrible, dark, embarrassing secret.
Okay, here goes…(I hope this information that you are about to learn about me, won’t make you rethink your Following of Too Funny Chicks…)
In this large Rubbermaid 3-drawer thing, I have it stretchingly full of…Hotel Shampoo, Conditioner, Soap, Shower Gel, Shower Caps…anything that hotels give you. I have a serious, serious problem. I have this fantasy that I will, get ready for this…take ALL the shampoos (let’s say) (could work with conditioner too…) and I get a big bucket and around that bucket I pull a large rubber band around the top, THEN, I slide in all the little bottles of shampoo or body gel or whichever I’m working on at the moment, I put them in upside down. And, they all pour out into the bucket, leaving me with my own CUSTOM product. Maybe I’ll call it, “Hoarder’s Natural Solution” something clever like that. Then, I’m all Eco-friendly too. My company might call this sitch a
win-win-win. I don’t really know who the three people are that are winners…I know……I’m one, then, the Earth maybe is the 2nd winner? Then who? The hotel? No, because I’ll probably want to just take more free stuff. Chick E? Is she the third win? No, because when I stay at a hotel, I ALWAYS bring her back a set of bathroom stuff and if I create this thing, I might not want to give it to her anymore. Hmmm……..who’s the third win??? Maybe it’s just Win-Win. Let’s just go with that for now.
And it’s not just hotel toiletries…oh no…it’s just anything any business wants to give me for free. Pens, magnets, pocket calendar, golf pencil, key chain that looks like an eco-friendly light bulb AND it lights up!! Whatever it is!!! I want it!! I want it real bad.
I don’t know why I continue to take these free chotchkies. I never use them. It’s just that they’re free. It’s an illness that I need therapy for. I can’t even fit another free magnet from some plumber or mechanic on my fridge! But, if I’m getting my oil changed and there’s just this container full of cute magnets on the desk in the shape of a tire that has the company’s info on it and they’re obviously FREE, I’m taking one. I am. I might take 2. One for “just in case” reasons. Maybe I’ll take one for Chick E. She loves free stuff too.
I want to SIMPLIFY, not CLUTTERFY my house. But, I can’t stop with the free stuff! HELP!
I just want to say before I sound like I don’t have any remorse about this…that I feel bad. So, I want to apologize….I’m sorry Marriott, Hilton, Bank of America, Ramada, Dreams Resort in the Dominican Republic, my doctor’s office, Holiday Inn Express in Burlington, VT, my server at lunch the other day, El Cid Resort & Spa in Mexico, oh and my MINI Dealership (yikes)…and MANY Disney Resorts…I’m really sorry. I’m a good person, I just am living with this disease. Hey, Step 1…admit that you have a problem.
Heart you…thanks for not judging me. (Yeah right, you’re totally judging me…ugh.)