Top 5 Best…Movies That’ll Make You Cry Your Ever Loving Eyes Out.

Sad Sam

(Sam just finished watching Turner and Hooch…he’s taking it hard…and by the way, yes, he likes to eat unpopped popcorn…)

Okay folks! New topic that’ll appear regularly. Maybe you’ll remember from our page, Funny Things You Should Watch ( but I talked about the Spreadsheet that I keep and it contains far too many categories of topics that I’ve rated by “Top 5 of All Time!” You know, it’s weird, I truly believe that one day, something will happen in my life that I’ll NEED to know this very quickly and THANK GOD I will have already done my thinking on this and will be ready. Like, a game show where the host stops you in line at the pharmacy and says, “If you can tell me your Top 5 Non-Alcoholic Drinks in the next 10 seconds, you’ll win a million dollars!!” So, you know…I’m ready. (I really need to rethink my life.)

Anyways…so I want to do a weekly Top 5 List. And, I’m HOPING that you, our followers, will join in the conversation…you don’t necesarily have to add a Top 5, but how about 1? Or even 2? That would be awesome, let’s get this convo going peeps! Hey, if you want to add your Top 5, I’ll be smiling from ear to ear like Annie sings about in the musical, ummm…Annie. You know, “Who cares what they’re wearing, on Main Street or Seville row? It’s what you wear from ear to ear and not from head to toe that matters!” (Someday we’re going to be able to link an audio file to this and I’m SO going to sing this and attach it, omg, I can’t wait for that!!) That analogy didn’t make a ton of sense, but I’m just trying to say, bottom line, join in the discussion friends. 🙂

By the way, in my “Top 5 Rules” they are never in order, they are in what is called, “Random Order”.

Okay, so, since we’re called “Too Funny Chicks” we definitely should start with a Top 5 about, THE SADDEST MOVIES EVER!! Because why wouldn’t we? Plus, we already have an ENTIRE PAGE on the home page of our site dedicated to “Funny Things You Should Watch”. (Which will be updated regularly, I promise.)

Okay, here we go…


1. My Life. Michael Keaton/Nicole Kidman. 1993. Story about a Husband & Wife, they have a baby, he’s dying from a terminal illness. He makes a video for his child about lots of things to know about life. It’s insanely genuine, funny, heart-breaking, touching. And, you’re gonna cry. A LOT. You might have to pause the movie to recoup.

2. Everybody’s Fine. Robert DeNiro. 2009. While watching this movie, I ACTUALLY DID have to push pause on my DVD player and phone my Mother to cry hysterically. I’m just going to leave it at that.

3. Terms of Endearment. Shirley MacLaine. Debra Winger. 1983. “Look, I’m sorry about this but I can’t help it, and I can’t talk to you for too long or I’ll get real upset. I want you to make a lot of friends. And I want you to be real nice to the girls ’cause they’re gonna be real important to you, I swear.” Holy shit. This movie is killer. It’s an amazing movie, the acting, the writing…it won 5 Oscars for goodness sakes! If there was an Oscar given out to the Best “Movie That’ll Make You Throw Up from Crying So Hard”, Terms of Endearment would’ve gotten 6!

4. Beaches. Bette Midler. Barbara Hershey. 1988. “Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. It must have been cold there in my shadow, to never have sunlight on your face. You were content to let me shine, that’s your way. You always walked a step behind.” If this song wasn’t in the movie, I’m not sure that it would make the list. I literally cannot listen to this song without having to reach for a tissue of the inside of my shirt. Best Friends from childhood, two different lives…but they’re always connected. “Fly, fly, fly high against the sky, so high I almost touch the sky. Thank you, thank you, thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings.”

5. Steel Magnolias. Sally, Dolly, Shirley, Daryl, Olympia, Julia. 1989. This is such a great movie. You’ve got so much going on. Truvy (Dolly Parton) the small Southern town hair dresser who knows everybody’s business to the sassy Miss Clairee (Olympia Dukakis) who’s checking out the naked Football players butts, to Ouiser (pronounced Weezer) played by again Shirley MacLaine (GD You, Shirley MacLaine and being in two of my Top 5 Saddest Movies!) with her hilarious bi-otchness. Oh, the whole thing, then M’Lynn (Sally Fields) and Shelby (Julia Roberts)…oh Dear God. The crying will ensue. (FYI- this movie is also VERY funny. You’ll NEVER look at Red Velvet Cake or Armadillos the same again.)

Alright, that’s it. For now. My Spreadsheet of Top 5’s is ever-changing. I mean, I recently took Skim Milk off of the Top 5 Non-Alcoholic Drinks list and replaced it with Yogi Blueberry Slim Life Green Tea. See? I’m crazy like that.

Please let us know what movies make you weep…we need more things to cry about.

Heart you,

-Chick A

P.S. I’m wicked stressed that I didn’t include “The Notebook” on this list. “Yes… it wasn’t over, it still isn’t over!” Maybe I should start considering having Top 10 Lists….


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