THE FOLLOWING BLOG ORIGINALLY AIRED SEPTEMBER 13th, 2013.
Whoa, this has been our longest stretch without hearing from one of us since inception! No, not the movie. The beginning of this blog, weirdo. Just kidding, I heart you.
We’ve both been very busy. Chick E is of course, still tending to a two month and 5 day old and an almost four year old and getting close to no sleep, so she has a better excuse than I do…(Have I mentioned that I don’t know how she does it?? She’s amazing…)
My excuse is…I was marrying someone. For those of you that are reading this that know me, I bet for a split second you were like, “WHAT???” Relax…I didn’t elope. I’m not J-Lo. I am a Notary for the State of Maine, so I can be a Justice of the Peace in any other state and from time to time I marry people. Which I was doing this past weekend. It was just a lovely event. The Bride and Groom were absolutely delightful and over the moon in love. It was gorgeous.
I had written the ceremony, which I do for all my weddings…I’m not copying and pasting wedding ceremonies from the World Wide Web, people. Come on, I’m better than that! I’m a blogger for cripes sakes, geez! I will admit that a couple of my “jokes” went into the air and were responded to with the cliched crickets. But, oh well…you can’t win them all, right? I was told by some guests that they loved what I had written and would be in touch should they ever be in need of a Notary/Justice of the Peace from Maine.
The weirdest thing about marrying people is…who am I that I get to join two people in marriage? It’s so strange to me. Because I sign a piece of paper you’re legally bound to each other?? I don’t know if I will ever completely understand this, but I’ll just go with it. So far, Maine and New Hampshire have said I’m cool, so I’m cool.
(This was actually a line from the ceremony…) “Relationships are a very tricky venture indeed…” Say that out loud, just the “very tricky indeed” part. I bet you’ll have a British accent when you say it. I do. In-deed!! Am I right?? Accents aside, it’s true though, right? Relationships? They are very tricky. Indeed. You’d think after all this time, people would just stop, right? I mean, what are the divorce rates nowadays? 1 in 3? Something like that. Listen, I’m a writer, not a statistical researcher, people…just go with it. Anyways…if you went on a roller coaster three times and one of those times you fell off, you wouldn’t go on it again, would you??? Okay, that’s a terrible analogy, but…do you see where I am going with this? Single people are continuously putting themselves through heartache and pain to find their “true love” and then when they finally do get in a relationship, I guarantee you, at least 40% of the time, they’re thinking, “I’m gonna kill him for not picking his clothes up off the floor!” And he’s thinking, “If you write me ONE more To Do List!!!!” We’re never happy!
So hot and cold we are.
Maybe you’re super cranky with a GL of 87,992 (this is a term that Chick E and I have coined…our “GL” is our “Grump Level” it’s 1 to 1,000,000. And if it’s ever 1,000,000, the other person has to physically get to the other person within 30 minutes. Like Dominos. And yes, it would probably be best if you arrived with pizza. Luckily, either of us have ever hit that one million marker.) Anyways…some Saturday night, you’re at GL 87,992 with your significant other and then, you get up on a Sunday morning and he is out mowing the lawn and your heart just melts. With dreamy eyes you’re thinking, “He’s so amazing and hard-working. I love him so much. He’s so cute.” Ugh. We’re so GD fickle, aren’t we? We’re never happy. Some people are. I bet there are couples out there that adore each other all the time. I mean, I’ve never met any of them, but I’ve heard of them…through mythical grapevines and movies by Nicholas Sparks.
Here’s the truth…nothing is perfect. He’s not perfect, you’re not perfect. Together, you’re not perfect. We’re all just here trying to figure stuff out, wanting to be accepted, appreciated and loved. I think it’s once you accept the fact that a relationship will never be perfect, does it get, you know, perfecter. More perfect. No, not more perfect, I’m contradicting myself. It’ll get better. It’ll get a lot better.
The following is a statement I feel it is my duty to add regarding this topic…There must be an understanding that relationships can also just be not the right fit as well. You shouldn’t say “oh well, nothing’s perfect” when you know that it’s just “bad”. You know? See the difference?
*And if you’re in one of those and you know it’s one of those “not the right fit” situations from the depths of your soul, maybe you need to make some changes. No mowing of the lawn can make up for a poorly fitting relationship. It’s all about weights and measures. If the bad stuff is outweighing the good stuff, you might need to figure out a game plan to realign things. It’s hard, I know from experience…and outside of what I’m saying, there’s a lot to weigh and measure, but you only get one short life…and I believe, you should do everything in your power to make it more good, happy, fun, joyful than…the opposite of all those words. That’s all I’ll say about that. For now.
Okay, okay, sorry…maybe that was a bit dark for a blog called, “Too Funny Chicks”…but hey!! I can be serious too sometimes! Geez.
My point of this story is this…yes, relationships are a very tricky venture indeed…but I believe they ARE worth it. Seeing my Bride and Groom so ridiculously in love this weekend made me feel like maybe those statistics could be on the rise…if we just…remember…”All You Need is Love…buh buh buh buh…All You Need is Love….buh buh buh buh….All You Need is Love, Love….Love is All You Need…Love is All You Need…” (Side note/true story: I attempted to talk my Bride and Groom into a ceremony that revolved around this amazing Beatles song where the ceremony would end in me conducting the crowd…right side: “All You Need is Love” left side: buh buh buh buh”. They chose not to go in that direction…)
If you’re in a relationship right now, think about your person’s good stuff. (Unless there is not good stuff and refer to the paragraph with the *) Stop thinking so much about the stuff that annoys you, just think about them mowing the lawn or dealing with the auto repair shop so you don’t have to…or the other little things that makes you not want to kill them all the time. (Wink face inserted here.) Remind yourself what I told my Bride and Groom this weekend, “It’s easy to love your spouse when everything is right in the world, but more of a challenge sometimes in the rough spots. But, I believe, it’s in those rough spots that we see the real soul of a person.”
And if you’re not in a relationship right now, go put on some lipstick, straighten your hair and get out there Lady!!! Guys, just don’t be a jerk…that’s really all you need to do…and compliment her shoes…
Filled with love and hope for better numbers and safer roller coasters…
P.S. To my Bride and Groom…if you’re reading this…keep this in mind…10th Anniversary…renewal of vows…the whole “All You Need is Love” thing??? Okay??? Think about it…it would be awesome!