Online Shopping…The World’s Best and Worst Invention

biscotti

I have a confession. Several actually. So far this week I’ve purchased a new fleece jacket, a new pair of shoes (aren’t they pretty??), a scale, and new cordless phones. All online. Ugh. I need all of those things like I need a hole in my head.

Journey with me, as I rationalize these purchases…

The cordless phones might be the most practical. Ya know, for the two land-line calls we make or receive each week. In my defense, the ones we have are always dropping calls (What in the world? How does that happen with a land-line?). Also, we used to have two but since being home on maternity leave I have managed to lose one. I am guessing I threw it away. :/

The scale, well that’s obvious isn’t it? It’s to help me lose the rest of the baby weight. I really need to get back into my former wardrobe, which I’ve invested heavily in. I literally cannot afford to replace all of my pants with bigger sizes. This would require a second job. How, you may ask, will a scale help me lose weight? I don’t know yet, but I’m confident that somehow just knowing my weight will make me try harder. I need to really impress this new fancy scale, by every day losing some amount. This all seems reasonable to me. I really am not quite right.

The jacket and shoes…I won’t even try. Those were just because. Just for fun. Because I deserved them.

I sort of feel this sense of entitlement lately. Things are tough at home with a newborn. Sleep is extremely hard to come by. It’s like, I deserve these shoes, right?? For all of this hard work? This is total crap, I know. It is just an excuse. So every day, I vow not to open these apps. But then, curiosity gets the better of me. What’s on sale on Zulily today? What sort of amazing deals will I find? I’ll just take a quick peek…just to see if maybe they have a new fall jacket for Grace really cheap. 45 minutes and $100 later…Is this what drug addicts feel like? OK, maybe that’s a stretch. But it is sort of an addiction, right? It really is way too easy for people to shop nowadays. Remember when we had to drive to the store to get things? I do. Sort of.

This is the problem with the internet. Holy shit is online shopping easy. Actually, I won’t even blame it on the internet. I’ll blame it on smart phones and shopping apps. All I do is hit one button. ONE BUTTON. Do you know how easy it is to hit one button? Pretty easy, let me tell you.

You want to know the best part of online shopping? It’s like Christmas when something shows up on your doorstep. I intentionally never track the things I’ve ordered for that reason. It’s such a fun surprise to show up at home to a present.

You want to know the most dangerous part? Online stores NEVER CLOSE. Ever. Nope, they don’t. So at 3am, when I’m awake feeding the baby, and my phone is just.right.there…so.close. No don’t pick it up!! Uh-oh. Too late. Just a quick peek remember??

Maybe some of you are struggling with this newest addiction. Let’s make a pact today, to quit. I very well may delete these shopping apps. I mean, I might. I should. I will. OK I will. Maybe. Well at least after Christmas I will. I need to buy Christmas presents anyway and might as well get amazing deals on them.

Right?

Happy shopping my followers.

-Chick E

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