How About I Just Wear This Curtain?

rose curtain

This will be the first of what I hope will be many requests for a specific topic that you’d like us to talk about by our lovely and dedicated Followers.

This is a topic that touches my heart as it does many, many other woman in this country. And for those of you it doesn’t “touch”…I hope through this article, you’ll be able to more appropriately empathize with our pain.

“Women’s Clothing” or “Plus-Size” clothes. This is our topic tonight, people.

This is something I have told many of my non-Plus Size friends…go into a store that sells clothes. Pretty much any department store. Now, go to the “Women’s” section and take a look. Let’s take (let’s just call it for conversation sake) “DJ Minimum” for example. Go down the rack sliding the hangers down the row, one after the other. Look. Are YOU, thin and hip chick, wearing ANY of these clothes if they were in your size?? Do YOU like large patterned floral motifs on YOUR blouses? Yes, I said, “blouses”. How about a plaid button-down with rhinestones on the collar? No? Not your thing??

Well, listen…just because some of us may be a bit larger than some, doesn’t mean we’re either A. Blind or B. 93 years old. (I’m sorry 93 year olds and blind people, I’m just trying to make a point. But, I’m sure you wouldn’t be caught dead in these numbers either!)

“Oh Yes, I’d LOVE to wear some elastic waistband jeans with no zipper and a orange ruffled blouse with a drawstring collar. Sooo pretty.”

One after the other. It’s horrific. The ugliness and non-form-flattering choices are astounding. Then, you’ll come across this adorable shirt, maybe it’s a solid color, like black or possibly, navy blue…it doesn’t even have cartoon characters on it. This might be the needle in the haystack. Nope. Guess what? It’s size Extra Small. It was put back in the wrong place. HAPPENS EVERY TIME.

What in the world, stores? Buyers? Designers? Who’s seeing this stuff and thinking, “That’s REALLY nice. I really like that. That’ll look terrific on some overweight lady.” It’s so mean. It’s like they’re saying, “You’re fat. Who cares what you wear.”

I do. I love fashion. I love clothes. I’ve learned, over my let’s say, 25 years of having to shop in these sections, that you have to be very meticulous in your choices.

I wish that the fashion industry would see that even though we’re kinda chubby-ish, we still want to look adorable. And hot. And even sexy…whoa…that we don’t WANT to look like a 93 year old (sorry again) blind person. Even the blind people, could feel how ugly these clothes are.

There are options. I’m not saying that there are not. I know this, because I wear clothes. Every day. And, I think…I look cute, most days. Not right now, I have on my nightly uniform of black yoga pants and a tank top that I have gotten toothpaste stained on. Not hot. Anyways, back to the options.

I don’t know what the legality of promoting stores is on blogs, but I’m gonna risk it.

Macy’s. It’s hit or miss with the “Women’s World” section, but if you look…really try on things, there’s a good selection of basic, classic, well fitting and even cute clothes. Some of the bigger stores, in the bigger cities (Hello, Burlington, Mass.) have even MORE selections. Like, major designers. I got some $160 Michael Kors jeans there once, yeah, I did. And on that note, a lot of times, the GOOD fluffy-girl clothes can be pricey. I know ALL designer clothes are pricey, but in this section, they take it to a new high. They’re like, “You want to look cute Pudgy? You gotta pay.”

Target. This is even more hit or miss. But, from time to time you can get a couple cute things. Their clothes run big, I think, so…make sure you try it on.

That’s another thing, if you’re overweight, stop thinking that the bigger the clothes, the more stealthily you’re hiding your bad spots. You’re not. You’re actually making it worse. Pick up some Spanx and a fitted shirt and smaller pants, ladies, okay? Trust me.

Old Navy and it’s rich sister, The Gap. The clothes at both of these stores run big. Try some things, you’ll see.

There are a couple places that specialize in “Real Women” clothes. There’s two that I can think of right now. Torrid and Lane Bryant. Torrid, is the portly sister of Hot Topic, a store that offers neon, skulls and studded belts. This store is okay. The quality isn’t there for me and the prices are ridic. Lane Bryant, I actually worked at while in college. (Upcoming Article Alert: The 35 Jobs I’ve Had in my Lifetime. Counting Down the Hits.) I stopped working there the day these two thin women walked past while I was folding a sweater on a plastic board and as one started to walk in, the other pulled her back and said, “No, Elaine…that store’s only for fat ladies.” Anyways,  in my opinion, Lane Bryant isn’t somewhere I would shop. The clothes aren’t great quality clothes, high prices AND at least Torrid has some cute clothes, this place, yikes. However, I will say, to keep this positive, they do have a great selection of (although again, highly priced) undergarments. (Bras and undies, to the layperson.)

So, there you go. I’ll definitely talk more about fashion in the future. Like I said, I love fashion and I think everyone, no matter their digits on that thing I like to call, “Satan’s Instrument of Torture” or “The Scale” should do their best and have all the opportunities that every other lady has to look adorable/cute/pretty/hot/sexy…whatever look you happen to be going for.

And to you, who requested this topic. You are ridiculously beautiful and your fashion, has come a long way, Mrs. Senator. 😉

(This is a nickname, this article was not requested by any real Senator. FYI.)

Heart you, my thin and buxom friends.

-Chick A

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3 responses to “How About I Just Wear This Curtain?

  1. I just loved this topic, it’s like having this conversation with you by my side, so lively and realistic. Keep going.

    Like

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