4 is the New 16

Why hello.  Yes it’s me.  I’ve returned.  It was a close call…this site almost had to be renamed “One Sorta Funny Chick”. Extreme sleep deprivation does not make anything seem funny.  Or fun.  Or cool.  Or anything except depressing really.

Anyway, I’m writing as I rapidly approach my daughter’s 4th birthday.  The big 0-4.  Big deal right?  Probably not in most households.  But for some reason I am OBSESSED with birthdays.  It’s a sickness really.  One of many obsessions I have.

This year went something like this:

Me: I think we should take Grace to Storyland for her Birthday.  

Husband: Great idea.  Then we can just have a small family party.

Me: Sure. *I say out loud while shaking my head no*

Needless to say, the “small family party” is this Saturday and is slightly larger than my wedding.  :/  OK that might be a slight exaggeration.  But seriously, I have invested more time into planning this party than I did my wedding.  That is a true story.  I think planning this party might be more exhausting than having a newborn.

I used to watch that show on MTV about these insane parents throwing their kids huge 16th birthday parties and I would think to myself “Who in the world would ever waste that much time and money on one birthday party??”.  Let me tell you, I would.  If I was a millionaire, or even a hundred-thousand-aire, I would do it (Chick A can write a rebuttal at a later date).  Did I experience some sort of birthday neglect that I am now trying to compensate for by spoiling my kids on their birthdays?  Mom?  Dad??

Birthdays are just super fun at this age.  The kids love it.  Get Grace princess plates and silly string and she thinks I’m the coolest Mom in the world (which I am).  You know what else I got this year?  A piñata.  A mother f’ing piñata.  That’s right.  A cardboard (? maybe?) thing made to look like a princess filled with candy that the kids will get to whack the shit out of in hopes of breaking and releasing said candy.  Who invented the piñata?  It’s such an angry concept. Bowls of candy are so much less aggressive.

OK, so there was the birthday trip to Storyland, the birthday party this weekend, and then we (I) had to throw in the birthday ears-getting-pierced.  Because it’s not like we hadn’t already done enough.  Keep in mind all of these things are happening before her actual birthday.  What is wrong with me?  Next year, small family party.  (Who am I kidding, next year I’ll try to outdo this year.  This is how we arrive at a $20,000 sweet sixteen party.  It just keeps building on itself, year after year).

I hope my husband isn’t reading this post. If you are just remember, she only turns 4 once. And 5 once. And 6. And…well you get the point.

So happy birthdays all 40 something followers. May your parties be wild and crazy and filled with friends and sugar. Or low key if that’s your thing. It’s clearly not mine.

-Chick E



One response to “4 is the New 16

  1. I’ve personally witnessed this. I was visiting Chick E probably almost a month ago and while I was there, she got a cardboard box out and started filling 20+ goodie bags for the party. She also purchased a 172 pound bag of candy for the hanging game of hate and rage (aka piñata). Hey, Chick E, can you plan my 38th birthday next year??


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