Just a Head’s Up…This Entire Blog is About Bacon. Just FYI.

I purchased this wooden sign for my bf for Christmas once, so he’d always remember, no matter what my actions may say sometimes…

I am obsessed with bacon.

I know in past blogs I’ve talked about how the majority of my brain concentrates on losing weight. Well, there’s a medium-sized percentage of my brain capacity devoted just to my love of bacon. Ironic, huh?

I don’t want my bacon obsession to get out of control and hinder my weight loss goals, so I have put some rules into place…in regards to my bacon consumption.

Every single work day I eat a mushroom and cheese egg white omelet. Since Wednesday is W.I.W (Weigh-In-Wednesday) I have bacon on Wednesday morning, post weigh-in, of course. I have 3 slices. Then, every other Friday I have the day off from work, SO on the Friday that I HAVE to work, I allow bacon again with breakfast, to ease the blow of having to work. Every Friday at work is a “Breakfast Buffet” so instead of having to ask the Chef for 3 slices; I am able to get the bacon myself. This is an extremely tense moment for me. Do I want to take those plastic tongs and just grab all the way to the bottom of the container? Absolutely. 100%. Without a doubt. Do I? No. I try to have some willpower and dignity. I have about 3ish pieces. Maybe 4ish…

(By the way, let’s not get into the Saturated Fat vs. me having heart disease debate. It’s a myth. I can write a health blog some other day…)

Then we have the weekend. I again, make my egg white omelets, this time with bacon INSIDE the omelet. 2 pieces. Each day. (As well as every other Friday that I have off.)

There are certain occasions when I will NEVER pass up bacon. Any National Holiday. (Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, President’s Day…) My birthday. (Should be a National holiday…) A Wedding. A wedding that offers Scallops Wrapped in Bacon is my absolute favorite wedding. Bacon is best on its own, but if it’s going to be with a friend, it should be a big, well cooked, fresh scallop. They are BFFs.

Two years ago, my lovely cousin got married and at her seaside reception, I was having a conversation with another cousin that included topics which led her to tears. She was very upset. (Did the level of emotion have anything to do with alcohol, you might be thinking? The answer is yes, of course it did.) We were deep in conversation; she was spilling out her soul to me, her loving, wise, older cousin. And as she was talking and crying…I saw behind her a server approaching with a silver tray piled HIGH with HUGE scallops wrapped in crisp bacon. I tried my best to remain focused and calm, but without the ability to hold back, I cut her off and not exactly yelled, but loudly squealed, “Scallops Wrapped in Bacon!” And left her there, in the middle of the room, crying…to this day, I feel badly about having had food trump my in-need family member. You know who you are and I’m very sorry. 😦 I just really love scallops wrapped in bacon. Not more than you, of course, just a lot. A whole lot. Ugh, this isn’t coming out right…Love you Cuz!!

I will say that I have tried all sorts of bacon-ladened dishes, loving them all. The only thing that was not a hit was surprising. I love bacon…I love chocolate. But, I do not love bacon dipped in chocolate. Very bad. It just doesn’t work. They do not get along, they are not BFFs. They are like The Celtics and The Lakers. I did not like this. Thinking of it now is making me make an ick face.

I didn’t write this poem, but I love it…and to the Doctor who told me this poem, thank you…

Roses are red,
Bacon is red,
Poems are Hard,
Bacon.

That about sums it up.

Have I just written an entire blog about my love of bacon? Yes. Is that weird? Maybe. I just really love it.

So, I’m going to leave this blog with a question…

What food do you love so much that you might need counseling for it? Let’s hear it. Use TFC to relinquish all you’ve been holding in. We can take it.

Happy Sunday, y’all.

Heart you. And heart you, bacon.

-Chick A

P.S. Stay tuned for a blog this week regarding the reason why my bf bought me the wooden sign below:

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3 responses to “Just a Head’s Up…This Entire Blog is About Bacon. Just FYI.

  1. Pingback: Chick A’s Bucket List: Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade | Too Funny Chicks·

  2. The ‘cousin in question’ is still scarred to this day as result of the choice you made, as an FYI. Bacon > Family? Nice. My food would be mozzarella cheese. No – crabcakes. No kalamata olives. No beer. AHHH too tough.

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