Something happened to me today. It wasn’t the first time, but it was quite drastic today. I’m not quite sure what the breaking point was, but one minute I was fine, fairly happy at work and the next minute I was plotting people’s deaths. Literally. My eyeballs turned into Lasers and I was shooting pretty much everyone I saw.
I want to retrace my steps, find out where I turned the corner…possibly to avoid such a drastic change in the future…and also, to prove a theory that I’ve been calculating in the past year.
Got up. Getting up is never fun, but it wasn’t THAT bad this morning.
Shower. It was W.I.W today (Weigh-in Wednesday) and although I DID gain .8, I was expecting it due to my recent lady problem. I was even surprisingly fine about that. (Not my usual ridiculous FREAK OUT when I gain lbs.) Got Dressed. Hair (never fun). Make-up. Kisses goodbye to kids and bf. All fine.
Drive to work. Fine. Music. Great. Singing along as usual. I’ve been on a week long non-stop bender with the soundtrack to Rent. So, I’m happy.
Get to work. Usual morning routine. Like I said, it’s Wednesday and if you read my blog about my love and fervent schedule of bacon consumption you’ll know, (If you didn’t read it, find it here: http://wp.me/p317Rq-97) I had bacon with my egg white omelet, so of course, that made me happy.
(Although…thinking back now, I DID say to Chick E that I was sadder than usual today about my bacon being over…hmm, was that where my attitude started going downhill today??)
Got a call from my town water district. My check wouldn’t go through because the routing number wasn’t correct. Even though I’ve had about 80 checks go through since February when I ordered these new checks online. I tried to get some answers from my bank, but they didn’t really have any for me. It was all just a case of no one knowing how this happened..fine. Just needed to order new checks. However, to come to this bottomless reasoning I had to speak with 4, count em 4 different people to get this seemingly simple issue resolved and with the exception of one very nice lady at the water district, everyone else was not providing me with “Excellent Customer Service”…one lady was close to yelling at me, I just asked if she could run the check one more time…geesh. My bank yelled at me for not ordering their checks vs. getting them for 90% less online. The lady who I ordered my checks from said she “didn’t need to hear why I had an issue with my checks, she’d just issue me a refund”…not in a friendly way…in a “I don’t want to hear your stupid story Lady” kind of way…
There were some work stresses, nothing crazy, run of the mill, but I could feel my attitude slip sliding away. Then, Chick E says…”What time are we going to the gym??” UGH. I HAVE TO GO TO THE GYM!!! I DON’T WANT TO WORK OUT!!! UGH! &%(*#)@**@$*!# (Thanks to Chick E for getting me to go…)
You know how they say that exercise is the perfect thing for stress? It is. I mean, I didn’t feel better afterwards, I was still cranky…so in that way, it didn’t help, BUT I used my “for really no reason” anger that I felt to really go to town on that elliptical today. I was like, “Screw You, Elliptical!!!” So, in that way, it was good. For some reason, I started imagining falling off the elliptical and being hurt and how embarrassing that would be and I swear, I almost started to cry. If I had been in the privacy of my own home gym (which I do not have, by the way…) I think I would have just cried my eyes out whilst ellipticalling. Just to get it out.
After my 33 minute workout, I was back to work, realizing that I’m SUPER productive when I’m pissed off. (Not that I’m not ALWAYS really productive… 🙂 ) Just increased a bit when I’m angry for no reason. So, I got a lot of work done, so that was also good. (Trying to look for silver linings…)
Okay, so my theory…this is it…ready?
Whenever you’re angry, whether you know why you’re angry or not…ask yourself this: Am I hungry or tired? That’s it.
We’re all just big babies!
Even if you think that you are righteous in your rage at any given moment, I bet you’re at a higher level because you’re either tired or hungry. Try it. For the next couple weeks or so…everytime you find yourself pissed off, ask yourself…Am I tired or hungry? REALLY think about it. Because, I theorize, it’s absolutely one or the other.
Today, I was tired. SO tired. I haven’t slept well in a month. Or more. And it caught up with me today. My brain was like, “I hate you Abbe. I really hate you. And now, I’m gonna make you hate everything.” My brain is such a jerk.
When I drove home, listened to some more Rent…I stopped at Rite-Aid because bf said we needed cereal for kids for the morning…and a tiny box of Honey Nut Cheerios was $4.99!!! This started rechurning my crankiness.
Got home. Opened the car door to kids yelling, “ABBE’S HOME!!” like they usually do…and (for the most part) I felt a lot happier.
Dinner. Lovely. Spaghetti Squash and Meat sauce with a lovely salad.
Now, writing my blog…I feel better.
Then, hear the kids STOMPING on the floor above my head back and forth, back and forth and I yell, “WALK SOFTER!!!!!!!!!!” like a crazy person.
(So maybe not 100% better. Is it time for bed yet?)
Heart you…all you big babies. 🙂
P.S. The Title of this blog, you know what a “nanner” is right?
(That’s how babies say it…)
(Shrugging, wondering if you get it and/or if it’s funny…)