You Know…a Peep Slit

peep slit

I’m a girl.  I pee sitting down.  This is where I shall start this blog.

On a recent trip to the North Shore Mall, I picked up some new underwear.  Men’s underwear.  Not for me (duh).  Boxer briefs are boxer briefs to me…no difference between them other than the pattern.  This, my friends, is not true.

Did you know men’s underwear has a hole in it?  This hole, I have lovingly named the peep slit.  It’s there for a reason.  To help the (weaker) sex that pees standing up.  I’m not going to get into too much detail here.  This probably isn’t news to anyone, but I’m reporting on it anyway just in case it is.  That hole in men’s underwear isn’t just there for decoration.  It’s functional.

This all feels so wrong.

Anyway.  Said underwear I purchased at the GAP was all sewn up.  No peep slit.  No peep slit, no good.  Except I didn’t find out about this until after I had taken all of the tags off and washed all four pair.  Ugh.

Here’s an awkward conversation I had with a GAP employee today, who, to her credit, did not even crack a smile:

  • Me: I need to return this underwear.
  • Her: Is there something wrong with it?
  • Me: Yea.  There’s no hole in it.
  • Her: (blank stare)
  • Me: Yea, you know.  Boys underwear needs a hole.  Um, for peeing… ?  ?  Ya know?
  • Her: (blank stare)

Chick A really wanted me to refer to it as a peep slit during the return.  I think there may have even been cash offered.  But I couldn’t.  I felt like it was borderline sexual harassment.

Long uncomfortable story short, the underwear has been exchanged for properly functioning underwear.  And I even made out getting $1.51 back.  Because the good undies were on clearance.  Apparently peep slit-less underwear are in higher demand.  Weird.

Can someone, anyone, please comment and tell me that this has happened to you?  That I’m not the only person returning underwear?  Anyone?

*crickets*

-Chick E

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