People at the grocery store.
They’re looking for food they can’t find. They’re generally in a hurry. Sometimes they have kids with them that aren’t the best behaved. They’re trying to understand how all the fruit rules work. (“See how that cantaloupe rolls to right?? That’s a GOOD one!” -Jerry Seinfeld.) And…..they have metal apparatuses with often out of control wheels. All of this equals people in not the best of moods.
Honestly, I love grocery shopping. When I go on vacation, I actually go out of my way to go to the local grocery store, to see what things look like in there. Is it different from MY grocery store? I have to know!
But, in general, I understand how people could hate it. It’s one of those things that a lot of people hate to do, but have to, because…people need groceries…right? Well, I guess you could eat out all the time like a hip single person living in the big city with an unlimited disposable income….this is how I see single people living in the city. Everyone is Carrie Bradshaw.
For those of you who HATE to grocery shop, I have some tips for you…
1. Don’t go on the weekends during the day.
2. Don’t go after work.
Numbers 1 and 2 make it REAL easy for most everyone in the world who works. Right? But hear me out:
3. Go after 7:00 PM Friday through Sunday.
4. Go during your lunch break at work. (Unless it’s hot out and you’re buying meat or ice cream.) (Just get cereal and pasta at this time.)
5. If you have to go on the weekend during the day or after work, which most of us do, here’s the thing…relax. Take a deep breath, grab a cart and your list and understand that it might be chaotic in there, but you’ll be okay. It’s like going to Disney World in April, you can’t be mad that there are long lines for Space Mountain, it’s APRIL!! Come on! You have to just accept it. The madder you get, the worse it is.
There is something about a certain grocery store that boggles my mind though. I think I should lodge a complaint. Listen, I LOVE Trader Joe’s. LOVE. I almost cried when they finally opened up in my hometown. However, whoever was the brainiac that thought it would be a great idea to make mini shopping carts for children to use in the store should literally be fired and made to work at Chuck E. Cheese for the rest of their lives. Seriously??? Kids with metal apparatuses with often out of control wheels??? Really Trader Joe’s?? Adults can barely maneuver them without hitting others. I’ve never been in a Trader Joe’s where a child was using one of those carts and the parent wasn’t having to “speak to them” many times. Or, another person clutching their Achilles tendon. Why add this unnecessary stress?? Why don’t we just have people carry candles in a store that sells hydrogen?? (I just had to ask my bf, “Do stores sell hydrogen, is that a thing?” He said no.)
So, listen…everyone…when going to the grocery store. Relax. Okay? Watch what you’re doing. Be thoughtful of others. Be aware of your surroundings. And whatever you do, don’t give your child a mini cart!!! Ugh.
And have a list and a pen to cross stuff off. (Chick E taught me this cool tip about writing your shopping list on a sticky note and you can stick it to the handle of the cart!! She’s so smart.)
And don’t go when you’re hungry.
And honor the express lane limits.
And don’t buy cheap trash bags.
And it’s okay to sample one grape to make sure.
Heart you, grocery shoppers. (But not really you, person at Trader Joe’s who had the WORST idea EVER!)