TFC Exposed. Chick A: Didn’t Pay Attention In School.

The other day, Chick E and I had a “business meeting”. I have to put that in quotes because it’s hard for me to say that with 100% seriousness.

Anyways, we got to talking about geography.

So, as I’ve done before, I confide to Chick E that there are some subjects in life that I am just really, really stupid about and geography is absolutely one of them.

Not sure how it came up, but I admitted that if I had to point out where Alaska or Hawaii was on a map for 1 million dollars, I don’t think I’d get that money.

I drew her a picture and showed her where I thought these two places might be…as seen here:

map

(That’s a drawing of the USA, you got that part, right? And the circles are where I thought Alaska and Hawaii would be located…)

I know. It’s sad, isn’t it? What happened to me? I must have known these things at some point in my life, like elementary school…?

Chick E also told me that the Middle East was a part of Asia! Whhaaattt???

We both kinda got caught up on what the difference was between the United Kingdom and Great Britain. I said I thought they were synonyms. Not sure where we landed on that.

Here are some questions I have, I probably should Google them so I know…

1. What states make up the Midwest? Ohio? Oklahoma? I don’t know.

2. How many countries are there? How many states are there for that matter? I always hate when someone asks me, I never know if there’s 50 or 52. It’s one of those, right?

3. What states make up New England? I know this is awful, I LIVE in New England! But, I don’t think that I could tell someone with 100% certainty what those states were.

4. Is Washington DC a state? What’s happening there? I don’t think it is, but what is it? 

5. Don’t even get me started on Time Zones.

Related Story: My senior year of high school, I get my notice from UNH that I will be in a triple in Fairchild Hall. I am with two girls, one from New Jersey, one from Maine. So, we plan to speak on the phone together (A 3-way call…it was very 1994) (Pre-email/internet of course.) Anyways, while on the phone, I say to my future roommate from NJ, “What time is it in New Jersey?” This really set an awesome tone for who I was as a person with these two people.

Listen, I truly believe that I am a smart person. Come over and play Jeopardy with me sometime, I’ll prove my worth. But for some reason, Geography is like rubber and I’m glue…or whatever that saying is. I don’t get it. It doesn’t stick.

I will say that I’ve really been working hard on memorizing all the continents and I’ve really almost got those all down. What countries are in those continents? No. Not there yet. Baby steps.

If you are good with Geography, how did you get that way? Did you just listen better than me in school? Is it because you watch the news every night like a normal adult? Does Diane Sawyer talk about Geography on World News? And most importantly, do you offer tutoring?

On our TFC Facebook Page last night, we were blessed with an amazing and hilarious segue to this post. A Reader of ours noted on the post called, “Mother Nature: Antarctica Called, She Wants Her Weather Back” that we had some misinformation in our article about New England’s winter weather. He said, “Only prob with this is Antarctica is in the Southern Hemisphere, New England is in the Northern Hemisphere so it would be Arctic air and weather coming down, not Antarctic. Still funny though!”

How incredibly perfect this comment was…the timing of it….because I already had written most of this post already! Chick E and I had a pretty good text-laugh about this irony. As seen here:

convo

So, I will add a #6 to the list above…

6. What are Hemispheres?

Thanks for not judging. Unless you are judging…and then I retract my thanks. I understand your judgement though. I feel bad about my complete Geographical ignorance.

Heart you all you smarties and hopefully some dummies, like me….

Regards from New England……I think……

-Chick A

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