What Is Up With Olive Loaf?

nobody likes me - olive loaf

I’m not sure how much I have to write in this post. The title pretty much sums it up. What is up with olive loaf? What is it a loaf of? Are those really olives in there? Maybe it’s because I don’t enjoy olives or bologna (which I’m guessing this mystery loaf is) that this delicatessen specialty seems so strange to me. All right it seems disgusting. Not strange. Really, really, disgusting. I’m so sorry if you’re reading this and thinking “what a B. I friggen love olive loaf.” If you are, don’t worry. I will now list things that I love that you may find revolting. Ready?

1. Spaghetti O’s – I know they sort of taste like vomit, I do. But I’ll still eat the crap out of a can of those things.
2. Steamed clams AKA Steamers – I love steamers, I just don’t like to think about them as I’m eating them.  Does that make sense?  When else would you eat another creature’s belly?  Gag.  So gross.  But so good.  Also that whole process of peeling that skin off the neck…it’s like you have to circumcise each one.  Really, why do I eat these??  (Still so good)
3. Hot dogs – Are there really earthworms in hot dogs? Is that really true? Even if it is, I don’t care. During the first trimester of both of my pregnancies when I had Princess Kate-like morning sickness, hot dogs were one of the only foods I could keep down. So strange. But because of that, hot dogs and I have a very special relationship. They love me and I love them
4. Calamari – Squid.  I am eating squid. The other day I went out to lunch with some co-workers and we got calamari.  Some of them honest to God looked like little octopus.  Octopuses.  Octopi.  What is the plural of octopus? Octopodes according to Wikipedia.  Weird.

That might be it.  I don’t really eat a lot of weird and exotic things.  I have the palate of an 11 year old.  I mostly eat spaghetti and chicken fingers.  It’s pretty bad.  I didn’t have my first salad until I was 18.  True story.

Sorry Olive Loaf.  I feel sad for you.  But you are disgusting.  😦

-Chick E

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