Pants On Fire. With UPDATE!

Too Funny Chicks

Plumping. Volumizing. Lengthening. Defining. Non-smudging. Black. Noir. Almost Black. Kinda Brown. Express Outrageousness. Rocket Length. Colossal. Mega. Falsies. The list could literally go on for 74 days straight. Most of you reading this know what I’m talking about. And you’re probably thinking, “Seriously? Is this the beginnings of a blog about mascara????”

Why yes. Yes, it is. Here’s the thing. Most mascaras absolutely suck. I have probably purchased over 300 different tubes of mascara in my lifetime, maybe more. And not one of them has made my eyelashes look like this:

maybelline falsies mascara ad

I mean, I wish it would. Lush and defined and amazing. You don’t get that!! Maybe if it’s applied on your lashes by a Hollywood make-up artist! But, with just me and my mirror and of course my mouth wide open…it comes out more like this:


I just want a mascara that isn’t a liar. You’re all liars. My…

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