This subject line is a phrase that I believe I invented.
Spread it around people and let em know you heard it here.
When I get really overwhelmed and stressed I like to make a list of all the things that I am overwhelmed and stressed about. This might seem counter-productive to some, but to me, it’s like an emotional “To Do” list. And I believe it sheds light on some items that maybe need not be on my list.
So, I am going to really open up and share my current list with you, my loyal and loving readers. You’re loyal and loving, right??
1. I am sick.
Not mentally, well…I’m am physically sick right now. This isn’t coming out right at all. I have a bad cold or the flu or maybe just bad allergies, who knows. Everyone I talk to seems to think they know which one it is, but really, I don’t think they know. Anyways, I’m stressed about it for two reasons. #1. I have to perform a wedding this weekend and my voice is in and out. So, I am somewhat freaking out about that. I remember when I was heavily involved in drama and the thing to do prior to performances was to eat those honey sticks and drink a crap-load of tea. So, I’ll start that tomorrow. And the other reason me being sick is stressing me out is because I have pretty bad PTSD in regards to my health. If you had read my article, “Heart Disease: It’s Hilarious” you’d know that I have the heart of an 83 year old man. So now, whenever I feel the slightest….anything…I think I’m gonna have a heart attack. It’s stressful. And, ridiculous.
2. I have a lot of house projects to do. House cleaning is a constant stress of mine, being OCD and all, but right now it’s at an all time high because of #1, I cannot keep up with my diligent household cleansing rituals like normal. If anyone would like to come over and clean, I’d appreciate it. Probably not, because you probably wouldn’t do it right and that would stress me out even more. It’s not you, it’s me.
3. My hair is getting really thin. I’m almost one of those old ladies that uses a metal pick to poof up her few hairs into this big bouffant on the top of her head. I’m almost her.
4. I have SO many magazines to read. OMG. It stresses me out so much. I just want to throw them all away and start fresh, but I can’t! Maybe there’s something REALLY interesting inside to read, like how to get thicker, fuller hair or a phone number of a good shrink.
5. I haven’t gone grocery shopping in over a week. Pause for breath. Because of #1, I just haven’t had it in me to go. I had to decide which kid got a juice box and which kid got a piece of fruit when I made lunches tonight. Because I only had one of each. This is SO not like me and this story is going to send waves of terror through Chick E as I believe she may be even more of a grocery hoarder than I am and the fact that I had zero back-ups is really, really shameful.
6. I haven’t been able to go to see my awesome trainer since Saturday. Because of #1. She probably thinks I am a slacker and just am doing a fake cough when I tell her I can’t make it all week. Wait, I text her, she can’t hear my fake, I mean real cough. But really, due to my chest congestion, I can barely blow my nose without having to lie down, so, I don’t think that 180 box jumps is plausible for me right now. So, if you’re reading this, my dear Coach, I swear, I’m ill.
7. Holy crap, I’m on #7. Seriously, does someone have a name of a good therapist? I mean, seriously, this list could go on and on. I’m insane. I could talk about how my garden is in complete shambles for almost June, how I need to organize my closet, clean my fridge (would be a good time since there’s practically nothing in it…), get our basement, which transforms surprisingly nicely into our guest bedroom for the summer months, into shape before our many already booked guests arrive for their weekend stays, clean out my purse, get caught up on a bunch of Tonight Shows on my DVR and so on and so forth.
So, I’ll leave it there. But I will ask one thing, pray for me. No, just kidding. No, not really. Please. But also, let me know what’s bothering you. Let’s make each other feel better and laugh at all the stupid stuff that brings us turmoil in our daily lives. How’s your fridge? Clean? Are you feeling okay? Lemme know.
I just realized after reading this through that most of my current problems will be solved if I felt better. So, that’s priority numero uno. Gonna go get me some tea, some honey sticks, some water, some echinacea, some Advil, some Alka Seltzer, some Vicks Vapo-Rub, some cough drops and like 49 magazines and call it a night.