My Dad was born a “Paul” but the story that I’ve heard was that one of the nurses said to my Gram when he was born, “He doesn’t look like a “Paul”, he looks like a “Skip”. Now, whether or not this is a true story or something that I’ve made up in my head over the years, who knows. It could really fall under either category. But, for arguments sake (what does that even mean?) let’s pretend that’s a true story.
So, what did this nurse mean? What does a “Skip” look like? Well, I think I’ve figured it out…so, let me tell you…
A Skip is hilarious. First off. Funny jokes, funny laugh, funny comments, an ability to “Find the Funny in Everything” just like TooFunnyChicks.com’s motto. (Hmmm…maybe my Dad is a Funny Chick?? I’ve always kind of suspected from his love of rom-coms and shopping. Plus, I think he really does like Bette Midler and Cher. Holy Stereotypes, Chick A!!! Geez! Sorry. But really..come on.)
A Skip is a guy who welcomes people in with big bear hugs and they make that noise on the squeeze…you know, the “UHH” noise. Make it now. Skips are great huggers.
A Skip knows a lot about everything. I remember in school, my Dad could help me with any subject. It was kind of annoying actually. Biology? Get a scalpel. English? Wherefore Art Thou? History? The telephone was invented on March 10, 1876. Math? (I actually don’t remember getting help in the maths, I think I avoided talking about it because I hated it so much…but I’m sure he would’ve been really good at it…) On and on. You can ask my Dad about pretty much anything and he’ll use words that I have no idea what they mean. Like, big words. Like, Scripps National Spelling Bee words. He’s just showing off using unnecessary words in casual conversation. “They built that building down the street over two years of assiduous labor…” he might say. Ugh. Just say it was tough to build!
A Skip is a guy that didn’t care that he had three daughters. He was happy. He just made them fish and sail and love basketball and cars with him. I mean, maybe he’d call me “Mark” sometimes, but who cares, right? I knew he was talking to me.
A Skip is a guy that you can call at the age of 16 from the gas station down the road, after about 9 car accidents that you’ve already had and tell him that “a friend was driving my car and when she got out of it, she didn’t have it in park and it rolled backwards on top of a 1969 mint condition, hunter green Corvette.” And a Skip says, “I’ll be right down” and when he comes there and you’re totally freaking out that you’re gonna be murdered, or worse, get your license taken away…he walks over and puts his arm around you and says, “I’m just glad everyone is okay.” Then, deals with the repercussions. But of course, you go home and lose your license for about a month…and then have to hear about said story for the rest of your entire life.
A Skip is a guy that comes to your elementary school dressed in a suit once a year to pick you up from school early to drive to Boston to take you to your annual Celtics game and out to dinner at some place like Benihana. He also tells you lies like he knows the guy on the court named “Spider” who is brooming the floor. He goes as far as to bring you down next to the court, pre-game and yells out, “Spider!” Spider waves. Spider just waved because he was a nice guy. My Dad did NOT know Spider personally, as I came to learn years later. I thought my Dad was a celebrity. However, a Skip does NOT buy you any food, drinks, foam fingers, t-shirts or any other “over-priced junk” that they sell there.
A Skip is a guy who maybe had a tough time talking with his daughters growing up. Menstrual cycles, boys, make-up, tampons…these are things easier spoken about with your Mum. But as grown children, you’re surprised at what perfect and thoughtful advice a Skip will give you about anything. It’ll make you almost sad that you hadn’t started asking his advice earlier.
A Skip is someone who HATES nail polish remover. With so much passion and enthusiasm. You can be removing nail polish at your dormitory an hour away and he’ll yell, “WHO’S USING NAIL POLISH REMOVER!!!! IT SMELLS AWFUL!!!”
A Skip loves a good email joke forward and to forward them on as well. Let me know if you’d like to get on his list. They really are always pretty funny.
A Skip can make this AMAZING sound of a race car whizzing by you with his hands cupped over his mouth. It’s so awesome. I’ve tried my whole life to master this as well and although, I do believe I have inherited this gene of his for this special talent, I have yet to truly reach his level of greatness.
A Skip LOVES himself some Craigslist. A Skip has been known to purchase items such as a skee ball game, a real casino slot machine, a poker table, bar stools, bumper pool table, remote control monster trucks, infrared gas grills, Boat Captain hats, Queen Elsa from Frozen dresses….I could literally go on and on. A Skip LOVES a deal. Even if the deal means that you have to drive north 3 hours to pick-up the deal. And get the deal dry cleaned (Boat Captain hat) and search for back-up rechargeable batteries (RC Monster Truck)….but these are just minor details when getting a super good deal on something that basically, no one needs…and sometimes no one wants (bar stools, bumper pool table, poker table…).
A Skip loves life. Loves people, friends, strangers, laughing, going out of his way to make everyone just a little bit happier.
A Skip is incredibly thoughtful and kind and generous with his time, love, help, advice and friendship.
Whether he is a Paul or a Skip, I don’t care. He’s my Dad. He’s my “Sweetie”, a nickname I gave him years ago and he laughs every time I call him that. My Dad is an inspiration to me and so many people. If you are lucky enough to know him, consider yourself lucky enough.
I’m not saying that a Skip by any other name would smell as sweet, because I don’t know EVERY Skip, but my Skip, my Dad…always smells great. (I think it’s the Old Spice or the 4711 Cologne that he LOVES…)
Maybe your Dad isn’t a “Skip” maybe he’s a Tommy, Charlie, Dave, Sean or John. (Maybe your Dad is Sean John, are Puff Daddy’s kids reading our blog??) But maybe he loves Craigslist or cars or Boat Captain hats too…he can be an honorary Skip. 🙂
Happy Father’s Day to all the Dads out there.
And to mine, my “Skip”, thank you. Sorry about all the cars I messed up. I really can’t even imagine how much your car insurance was….sorry about that.
I love you.