As you may or may not know or remember, I have been throwing money at my weight-loss problem and going to a personal trainer for a few months…read about my first ever workout here. I really love it. I hate it. But, I really love it. It sucks. But, it’s so awesome. I want to die, but I feel better than ever. It’s a mixed bag of emotions.
Last Saturday, I got a text message around 7:30 AM that said something along the lines of “Meet at the middle school track today.” It’s my personal trainer/wellness coach/coach/my own Jillian Michaels. She’ll be subsequently referred to as “Coach”.
My first thought wasn’t, “Oh, fun! New destination. I love change!” It was, “Oh crap…I’m gonna die.”
I arrived at the track with my usual workout gear on, my 3/4 sleeves to cover my arms that I hate and a large black cloud over my head. For affect.
These sessions that I have with her aren’t just one on one, they are with anywhere from one other to ten other people, depending on the day. This is way better than personal training, makes it a lot easier to hide behind others and not have all the focus on you when you’re doing super lame push-ups and really not getting your ass to the ground when you’re squatting. (It’s only affecting you, Chick A…not her…when you don’t do your best…I know, I know!) Anyways, on this Saturday, there was a really good turnout, probably about ten people.
We all gather around the ominous white board with that days agenda on it as Coach turns it around in the big reveal.
The first thing it says, “Partner Carry Lap”….what does this mean, you ask? It means, you and a partner take turns piggy backing the other around one length of the track. So, I auto pilot into elementary school mode (ironic the location…) and start getting anxious about who’s gonna pick me?? I’m the biggest person there and the thought of someone carrying me on their back makes me want to fake a heart attack. Luckily, knowing that I was just on the fitness upswing again, after three weeks of absence due to sickness and international travel, she tells me that I can just forego the partner carry. Thank Jesus. So, I just “run” the first lap, it’s more like a “slow jog/walk” as everyone else is carrying someone on their back. I make a hilarious, self-deprecating joke to a few of my passers by (yes, even people with another person on their back are passing me…), I say, “It’s already like I’m carrying another person!” I think I’m so funny. I am a real advocate of the self-deprecating humor. It’s not because I have low self-esteem, I don’t, it’s because I’m just really funny. See the difference?
Anyways, the workout is basically running a 5k whilst stopping along the way to do random tasks like push-ups, sit-ups, planking, squats with kettle bells, lunges, box steps, and the worst of all, burpees. So, basically, hell on a middle school track, basically. I felt every emotion there is during this little over one hour work-out…namely, elation, anger, depression, frustration, self loathing, pride, joy…not to mention the physical pain.
I just do my own thing. My own pace. I don’t really like the part where you’re supposed to plank around a flat ladder on the track, I justify in my head that the fit/light people’s hands don’t hurt as much as mine while holding my body up on the kinda gravely track. So, I plank in the soft grass. Is that okay? Thanks. (Don’t tell Coach…)
Listen, working out sounds awful, right? Some days more than others. Some days, when Coach turns the white board around, I want to just sneak out…maybe she won’t know I’m no longer there and I can just go get an ice cream cone at DQ. BUT, here’s the but. Unfortunately, it IS worth it. For a lot of reasons. Not only do you have the possibility of getting fitter and healthier, but you don’t feel like such a shlub. You went out there. You did your best. You made fun of yourself and that’s always a good time and you completed a challenge that was set in front of you. All good mental health boosters as well.
Maybe I can’t “sprint” the straight 200. Maybe I can’t do a non-modified burpee. Maybe when Coach isn’t looking, I walk instead of lunge….whatever….I’m still out there. Doing something. I’m not at DQ getting a twist cone with crunch coat. (They’re not open at 8am!! Will save that for later…) And I’ll keep going back. (To workout, not to DQ.) (Who am I kidding, I’ll keep going back to both…) Even on days when I’d rather hold a frog than workout. (I have a ridiculous aversion to frogs, more on that sometime…)
We just need to do it. Like Nike says. They say, “Just Do It”, so a little different than what I said, but you know what I mean. At the end of each workout, I feel like a champ. Like I can conquer the world.
Tomorrow is Saturday again. Who knows what that frenemy, the white board has in store for me tomorrow. But, I’ll do it. If it says do 500 Burpees, will I do it? No. Absolutely not. But, I’ll do my best. I’ll probably swear a lot. I need a t-shirt that says, “Sweat and Swear” that’s my work-out motto. This is my other motto…I already have a shirt for it…
Wish me luck, my friends. Someday, maybe someone will carry me on their back around the track and I won’t feel like they need to sign a waiver first. 🙂
Chipping away, one squat at a time…
P.S. Want to join me in the awesome horror of training that my Coach delivers? If you live in the Seacoast, or want to commute from the Midwest, it is worth it, click below and check out her FB page…look for me, I’m like Where’s Waldo in some of the pics:
(This is not her business name, but maybe it should be…or at least her slogan…)
P.P.S. Don’t know what a Burpee is? Watch this. I look JUST like this guy when I do burpees.