Dear 13 year old Chick A,
Hi. This is your 38 year old self. How are you? Yeah, I know. I don’t really need to ask…since I’m talking to myself. It’s just something people say without any thought, “How are you?” Then people say, “Good!” even if they’re going through the worst time in their life, because what are you going to say to someone when you pass them in the hall at work?? “I”m going through the worst time in my life??” No. But, I regress…
So, listen. We’re 38 now. Isn’t that crazy?? At 13, 38 sounds like a senior citizen. Right? Teachers that we thought were antiquated were probably 27 years old.
I have a battle in my head about what to tell you. I mean, I could tell you what people to avoid, what people to get closer to, what not to wear, how to feel about things, how to react to things, what lottery numbers to play…but then, my life would be completely different. And I don’t know if I want my life to be completely different.
The obstacles that you encounter, the problems you face, the joys you live, the people that come into your life and go out of your life are all for a reason. They are to help you to grow. Help you to learn about yourself. Help you to be who you’re going to be.
All that said, this is what I’ll tell you….I’ll be somewhat vague, so you can still figure things out on your own, but maybe these couple of tidbits of elderly advice could make your life a tiny bit easier.
1. Understand that people project their fears and insecurities onto others to make themselves feel better about what’s going on inside of them… People aren’t always mean just to be mean, but to unload some of their unhappiness that they have inside about themselves onto you. It’s hard, but try not to take things too personally.
2. Being different is awesome. It’s the thing I like most about myself now. I do what I want, say what I feel, live how I like, love who I am. Being like everyone else is super boring.
3. Be confident. Confidence can hide so many imperfections that you may have.
4. Remember that your parents are just human beings. They’re still figuring this shit out too. Give them a break.
5. Don’t be scared to take risks. To get the best things in life, you gotta take risks. No risks, no rewards. Try everything. Many times. We don’t like olives, right? Well, I still don’t. But, I try them once a year to see if that has changed. Hasn’t yet…but maybe it will.
6. Don’t regret anything. Everything you do is a learning experience. Life is just a forever long test. Both good and bad things that happen help us to move to better things, to teach us stuff… if we’re willing to understand and accept this truth and live by it. The whole cliche, “Everything happens for a reason…”? It’s true. Decide that sooner than later.
7. Finally, don’t play birth dates in the lottery. That’s what everyone does. Play the easy pick.
8. Oh yeah, and don’t feel pressure to wear high heels. It’s not worth it. It’s not worth breaking both metatarsal bones in your feet for….just sayin’…ballet flats….that’s what you should be wearing…
So, 13 year old, Chick A…go. Life your life. Be who you are and be okay with it. Maybe focus more when you’re driving.
You’re awesome. I love you so much. Thanks for being my BFF.
-Chick A (The 38 Year Old.)