Stay Safe People, Use A Condiment

did you put on a condiment

Hot dogs do it too people

I am obsessed with condiments.  Ob-sessed.  I thought I would take this opportunity to pay tribute to all of the fine condiments out there that may not be shown the appreciation they fully deserve.

Here is the short list of my favorites:

  • Yellow mustard
  • Honey mustard
  • Ketchup
  • Italian dressing
  • Caesar dressing
  • Parmesan peppercorn dressing
  • BBQ sauce
  • Buffalo sauce – with blue cheese dressing.  Two condiments working together in harmony…it’s what life is all about.
  • Maple syrup

I used to hate real maple syrup.  I would only eat the maple flavored corn syrup kind.  Then a few years ago Mr. Chick E started making his own maple syrup.  Like right from actual real live maple trees.  And let me tell you, that stuff is amazing.  Aunt Jemima has been evicted from our house. I’m sure she’s found a new family to live with so I’m not too worried.

Food has become nothing more than a condiment carrier to me.  I love soft pretzels, but not without mustard.  Or maybe that wicked gross orange cheese.  Chicken fingers are nothing without an assortment of dips.  Local tip: Paddy’s  has the best condiments for their chicken fingers.  Chick A and I often hold our “business meetings” there and when we order the lovely waitresses or waiters always say “would you like any sauce on the side?” and we go “Please bring us one of everything.”


This is the spread we get at Paddy’s. It does not suck.

I’m not sure if salsa/hummus/guacamole fall into the condiment category.  But I love all of those too.

Condiments are just so fantastic at making food, which I love, even better.  I love to eat.  It is hands down my favorite activity.  And condiments make it so much more fun.

Ken’s has it right.  I am not sure who Ken is, but I would kiss that man if I ever got to meet him.  I have never had anything made by Ken’s that in any way disappointed me.

I recently returned from a trip to Maryland, land of the crab.  A co-worker and I ate at the Greene Turtle at the BWI airport.  Holy God.  They have a Crab dip, served with soft pretzels for dipping purposes.  Wow.  That’s all I can say.  If I were not travelling with someone who might find it weird, I would’ve been licking the pan it was served in.  I may have secretly done this when he left the table to take a call.  From this point forward, if you are not serving me a dip with soft pretzels for dipping, do not even bother.  I will be nothing short of insulted at your attempt.


Is it appropriate to eat crab dip with a spoon when you run out of soft pretzels? I think so…

This is my life…pondering the importance of condiments.  And then sharing with you.  All in a day’s work.

-Chick E




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