We all just want stuff. We want things, food, drinks, deals, stuff. But sometimes, some of the things we want, aren’t good for us. Sometimes, we know they aren’t good for us or make us feel awful afterwards, but we continually do it, eat it, drink it, buy it, feel the need to possess it. Why is that?
Here is a list of a few of my particular things that always sound good to me at some point and then I ALWAYS regret afterwards. But then, in say, a year or five years time, I forgot that I do not like said thing and try it again, only to have the same horrible regret.
Let me know what your “things” are…I’d like to think I’m not the only idiot who’s brain gets erased…
Getting a Fish Tank: I’ve had many fish tanks in my life. From the larger capacity of 15+ fish in a large tank to just a smallish bowl with one Siamese Fighting Fish in there at a time. (They do not like friends…) (I had one for like 6 years once between high school and college, his name was Larry Fish….he died of old age, I’m guessing…or maybe because I kept him by a mirror and he did not like that…) It always sounds so fun to get a fish. You get to watch it/them swim around, build them a little fish fantasy world of hot pink castles and treasure chests that open and close and plastic trees…all of which goldfish absolutely require to make a natural setting….but then, there is the cleaning. You gotta move the fish into another bowl which is super scary because they’re jumpin’ all over the place and don’t understand what the hell is happening, so they try to stay in the water even though it’s quickly vanishing and then they end up flying through the air into a cereal bowl. And if you don’t clean it soon enough, it smells real bad…or maybe you can’t even seen your fish anymore because of all the dark green algae. And then I, being insanely hypersensitive, always feel bad for my fish because I think they’re bored and lonely…especially if I just have the one Siamese Fighting Fish in the bowl, he’s like clinically depressed and wishing his innate instinct wasn’t to murder another fish, because a friend might be nice. Don’t even get me started on what it’s like to clean a large tank….I mean, it’s a day long process. My stance on a fish now is this, unless I win the lottery and have this enormous, in-wall tank that is kept pristine by a professional, I’m going to leave them sad and alone at the pet store. Sorry, Siamese Fighting Fish. Maybe be nicer?
Chinese Food: Sometimes after a long day of working or running errands or you’re just feeling super lazy, we turn to “Take Out”. In some areas, there are more options that others. In my town, just recently, these guys, these “Takeout Guys“, came in and started a business where they will pick-up take out from all these restaurants in the area that do not offer delivery, so our take-out options have increases exponentially, genius! However, there are the old stand-bys….Pizza and Chinese. Both, not very healthy. I’d say you could maybe get “healthier” Chinese if you order right, but no one wants to order steamed veggies and chicken all the time. So, maybe we’ll splurge and get things from all over the menu, beef and broccoli, lo-mein, crab rangoons, egg rolls (my bf has been known to tell me to order 6 egg rolls for him…), the meat things on a stick…you know, the usual. And, when you’re ordering it (is it ever easy to place this order? I mean, really? It’s tough. The language barrier has been known to make me want to order pizza instead, I’m sorry to say.) So, if I do order, I’m thinking, “Yum, this is going to be delicious…I can’t wait to get it. Then, it comes, we set it out like we have our own mini-All You Can Eat Chinese Buffet on our kitchen table and we all build a plate. I generally order so much I almost refer to it as “grocery shopping” as we’ll be eating if for the next few days. I’ve had the person I was placing the order with before ask me how many people my order was for (I think for determining how many Fortune Cookie to give, like…just give “some”…I mean, how much are they?) and when I’ve said “2”, I’ve gotten a very shocked response…and then I told them my “grocery shopping” theory. They didn’t seem understanding. So, you eat your mounds of fried rice, brown sauced whatever it is, you’ve ripped the meat off that skewer with your teeth and dunked your egg roll into that little plastic cup of sugary sauce…15 minutes later….the rumbling begins. The turnaround time of regret over eating Chinese Take-Out is real quick. Then, you’re waking up in the middle of the night DYING from thirst. You’re half asleep knocking everything over on your nightstand looking for your glass of water…but you have already drank it all and now you have to get up and get more…because you can’t NOT. You’ll die without water…you’re so parched and your stomach is still unhappy that you’re grabbing some Tums from your bedside table as well. And you swear, “I’m NEVER getting Chinese Take-Out AGAIN!”
(But then, 4 months go by and you don’t feel like cooking and that night of horrible parchedness and trips to the bathroom are long forgotten and a plate of pork lo-mein sounds DE-LICIOUS.) (Maybe I should put a sticky note on my Chinese Take-Out menu….“DON’T DO IT!!!!….“)
Soft Pretzels: Listen, I’m not saying that these taste bad. Oh, they don’t. They taste A-Mazing. They’re literally bread, butter and salt. I mean, really. That’s all awesome. But, guess what that means, it’s bread….immersed in something that resembles butter, but is probably a closer relative of a plastic milk jug and then dipped in large, white salt pebbles. If you say it like that, it doesn’t sound as good. Chick E LOVES soft pretzels. I never get them unless I’m with her….and again, let me reiterate that they taste SO good…but I swear, we had them recently and 4 minutes into the pretzel eating, I wanted to die. My stomach was like, “SCREW YOU LADY!!!!” and I was literally writhing in physical pain. It was a combo of digestive cramping and lightheadedness from needing to literally get this out of me, it was like an alien. (Sorry, so graphic, but wanted you to get the seriousness of this…) I don’t think the body is meant to handle this kind of “butter” drenched carbohydrate and sodium bomb. Chick E ended up finishing mine and advised me that “her body was primed to eat these sorts of things”….refer to the 2nd bullet point of this blog all about Chick E’s eating “style”…
A Milk Shake/Frappe/Shake/Fribble/Frosty/Malt, depending on where you’re from: Doesn’t a frozen ice cream drink sound amazing on a hot summer day?? It sure does. About as good as some pork lo-mein sounds on a night you don’t feel like cooking. This is what happens every time I ever have gotten a shake. It tastes delicious. The cool, creamy ice cream coming through that straw. Sometimes it so thick that you have to suck your brains out to get it to come up through the straw…but it’s worth it. Then, about half way/three quarters of the way through it, the lactose starts to accumulate. Right there, in the back of your throat. It’s like just sitting there, almost inhibiting your normal breathing. One time, Chick E and I thought that a shake from Cold Stone Creamery sounded like a good idea. So, we go in, pick out our flavors and go. Do you know HOW MUCH ice cream goes into one of these??? You need a ridiculous amount of ice cream to get a shake to the consistency that we all know and love. Because two scoops and milk isn’t gonna cut it, it’ll be the consistency of like skim milk and Hershey’s syrup. Not like soft serve ice cream! I have no idea, but I’d guess it has to be 6 or 7 scoops of ice cream (Premium Ice Cream, in fact…) with cream. So, a whole lotta lactose going on in that cup. Chick E and I were driving down the road with our shakes and both starting to say things like, “I feel so sick…” and “Oh my God, I’m gonna die…” and we both were having to do this thing with our throats to clear the blockages that the onslaught of lactose was causing, it wasn’t pretty.
Getting the cheapest plane ticket: If you do not enjoy personal space, then this won’t bother you. If there’s a moderate choice….get it.
Going to an Amusement Park (But especially on a weekend in the summer): Recently did this…you think, “Oh! It’ll be a blast! The rides are so fun! The yummy food!” But you forget about waiting in line for so long that you forget what ride you’re waiting for, and that amusement park food is NOT good (except for Disney, which is NOT an “amusement park”, it’s a “theme park” and there is a difference…ugh…) And although it was fun for the kids of course, I’m starting to think that “rides” just aren’t my “thing” anymore…and I have a post in the works called, “Why Working for Disney Ruined All Other Amusement Parks for Me.”
KFC: There were rumors that Kentucky Fried Chicken had to change it’s name to just “KFC” because there actually wasn’t “chicken involved, so false advertising….I looked on Snopes, that rumor was deemed false, but still…I’m no 100% convinced. Either way, it does sound good sometimes, but I’ve never not regretted it after….
So, I’ll stop there. I’m sure I could think of many, many other things that I always think are fun and then always regret afterwards…and then, time washes away those remembrances of how bad whatever it was, was….and I do it again….much to my dismay.
What do you continually forget that you dislike until it’s too late? Malibu Rum? Yeah, I hear that. What else? Let us know.
Trying to remember what I forgot I disliked,