Why Are My Pants Pockets Stitched?

Chick A and I were in line at our favorite burrito establishment on Monday, when I went to put my cell phone into my pants’ back pocket, only to find out that the pockets were stitched closed.  These were not new pants.  I’ve owned them for several years and have probably tried to put something in my back pocket many, many times (that’s what she said).  This whole scenario begs the question:  Why the hell are the pockets on women’s dress pants stitched closed???”

pants

Why Don’t I Just Wear These??

I can’t for the life of me come up with a good reason for this.  It just does not make sense.  Here is what goes through my mind:

  • Who has one of those stitch remover things anymore?
  • How will I get these unstitched?
  • What if I use scissors and cut my pants??
  • Do pants makers not want me putting anything in here?
  • Are they trying to prevent things from getting into the pockets in the stores?
  • What in the world would be getting into the pants’ pockets in the stores?
  • Do my pants cost more because of this?  It’s clearly unnecessary labor to stitch the pockets closed.

It is all very, very strange.

It’s like going out to eat and ordering a salad and they bring you out a head of Romaine and a knife.  I don’t want to un-stitch my pockets.  I just want them to work as intended.  I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

Let’s start a movement, a boycott of pants with stitched pockets.

I’m changing the world here, people, one problem at a time.  You’re welcome.

-Chick E

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