Rage-Filled Rant Brought To You By Comcast.

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Dear Comcast,

If you were a man, I would break-up with you publicly in the most humiliating way I could think of. But, unfortunately, you’re not just some man I can throw a drink on and publicly announce how awful you are in bed. You’re the little man with the monocle, cane and top hat that controls the monopoly game that utility companies are constantly winning and unfortunately you’ve got something I want and cannot get from anyone else and you know that.

You’re the worst and everyone hates you. 

With a passion,

-Chick A

Let me start this by saying, I am generally a calm, kind, respectful person, who is not easily enraged. But, when it comes to utility companies and their hold over my life, too often, my skin turns green and I have to rip my clothes off… (wish I had those abs though…)

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I was on the phone with Comcast today, for longer than 90 minutes. After being transferred many times, put on hold for 20 minutes twice and getting nowhere, I slammed my phone into the cradle (because that helps…) I chose to find the “Customer Chat” on the Comcast website, which they hide under 40 links so no one can really find it…and type with someone instead…I couldn’t handle talking to one more person.

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Here is a smidgen of things that were said in this chat:

Chick A_: Do you have a way that someone, like your supervisor or manager could call me?

Junel: You can directly call our Customer Solutions department at 1-800-XFINITY(9346489).

Chick A_: Ok

Chick A_: I won’t even bother….

Chick A_: Sad that we, the public are so screwed over and treated so poorly by a company that we can’t even get rid of….

Junel: I understand how you feel, Chick A. I too would have felt the same way. I just want to extend my apology to you in behalf of the previous representatives that misinformed you. We’ll make sure that we will have them reported and get reprimanded by their actions.

Junel: We’ll keep your account noted so that our Customer Solutions department will know already your issue once you’ll call them.

Chick A_: Like I said, I know what your job entails….I do…but to be transferred 7 times, cold transferred at that, so I had to tell my story 7 times, transferred multiple times with over 20 minute wait time to then be told they couldn’t help me….is outrageous.

I will say, that “Junel” was the only nice representative that seemed even somewhat concerned with my predicament. So, thanks Junel, wherever you are…

I was calling regarding a $50 internet overage charge on my bill that my bf had discussed last week with Comcast and they said it would be removed and has yet to be removed.

I want to add to this story with the fact that I have worked in this capacity. A call center for a phone company. I know first hand how brutal it is to deal with irate customers when it’s not REALLY your fault and you only have SO much ability to help…and I truly am as kind as I can be when talking to these agents on the phone, because I know it is not their fault, it’s the companies fault for not training, not giving the right tools and authority to make people happy.

I spoke with 7 different people at least. None could help. All told me different stories. Someone would say, “We can’t help you here in this department, you need to be transferred to Account Security…” So, okay, I say. What else am I going to say? Then, I’m transferred and have to wait 15 minutes to tell my story yet again, only for them to tell me that I’ve reached the wrong department…and there is nothing they can do to help me.

I was taught, in this type of business, that when you have a customer who is angry (as I certainly was) that you should “warm transfer” them to the right department. You say, “I’m sorry, I can’t help you with that, but I will get someone on the line who can.” You put the customer on hold, call the right department, explain the story to them and then transfer the customer. You think that happened today with Comcast?? No. They just would either transfer me or more annoyingly tell me “the right number that I should call” and when I said, “I’ve already called that number…and I ended up with you!” She said, “Did you hit Option 2??” And I couldn’t remember, I hit about 87 buttons today…at one point, trying to get a human, I just kept hitting zero over and over and over and over again…..to no avail, of course.

Comcast, you are seriously awful. I picture you sitting up there (I don’t know where “there” is…) but up there sitting atop your pile of money, with your expensive cigar and stupid mustache and your snarling face with your feet up on your platinum and snake-skin desk, thinking up new ways to screw us all over.

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What? Are we NOT going to have internet service?? No. We’re Americans in 2014, we need internet service….so we have to do whatever you tell us to do. It’s so sad. I wish I could be one of those people who’d just say, “You know what, I’m just going to disconnect my service…” and really mean it, not just say it as a threat and then take it back when they say okay.

I’ve tried to get Direct TV, but because my roof was too low or my trees too high, I couldn’t get it…(even though I could just cancel cable and watch television online, but then I still need internet service…) Also, I don’t even want a home phone, but they’ve made it so that if I elect NOT to have it, my bill is more expensive! Maddening!

Maybe I’ll start a movement of people disconnecting their services until these jerks figure out that they DO NOT own us. But, for now…until I can stop shopping on Amazon and watching cute dogs do funny things on YouTube and my bf can stop Sim-racing, we’re just prisoners to the man. The man named, Comcast.

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And listen, I’m not even close to the first person to write about how awful you are…you’ve actually won awards for most hated company in America. Good job. 😛

Deep breaths…..deep…breaths….

You know when they say, “Sleep on it before you write that email to a person who has wronged you so you don’t say something in anger that you will regret later?”

We don’t have those rules in blogging…

Heart you Reader…100% do not heart you, Comcast,

-Chick A

 

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