I’m not gonna lie, last night, I was tired, it was negative 406 degrees out, I had eaten really well all day and had been sugar free for 3 whole days… and then around 8:30 pm, I started to hear the voices. Inside of my head.
“Hey Chick A…how are you tonight? We’re just sitting here….waiting for you….you look really nice tonight…”
It was a smooth, soulful, R&B type voice maybe like Luther Vandross…(maybe he’s been reincarnated into Godiva Chocolate?? Seems appropriate to me…) It was coming from my kitchen, from the dining room table that has been the questionable home to an overflowing towering basket of Godiva Chocolates that Mr. Chick A got in a Yankee Swap this Christmas. Questionable because why the hell would I leave an enormous basket of Godiva chocolates on the table, in plain sight when I am going through a sugar detox?? Not smart. There’s like 15 different versions of deliciousness living inside this basket. Chocolate bars with almonds, chocolate nuggets with caramel, heart-shaped things, small bars, large bars, I think I saw the word “truffle” on there somewhere.
It looks kinda like this…
And honestly, I had to have “conversations” with these voices, including Luther and others about my options.
Do I want to eat some delicious cacao goodness? Yes. Am I on a sugar detox? Yes. But do I want to live under such strict guidelines that say I can’t have ANY delicious chocolatey happiness EVER?? No. I don’t. I want to have things I love in moderation. (“Never heard of it!” one of the voices in my head yells…) But, don’t I want to be strong enough to commit to a 6 week sugar detox after a 6 week sugar bender? YES! Do I want my desire for food to be greater than my desire to be healthy? NO! You can eat just ONE small piece!! No you can’t, you idiot!!
This conversation went on and on, I won’t bore you anymore, you get the point. A lot of back and forth was my point.
So, I didn’t eat any. Instead, I sliced a Granny Smith apple to curb my sweet teeth. (It’s more than just one tooth…) Guess what? Granny Smith apples? Not sweet. Not to me anyways. So, what could I do to make them sweeter? Opens fridge….caramel sauce?? YEAH!!! No. Honey? No, that’s too much sugar in my detoxification program right now….Cinnamon Sugar?? Umm, no, that literally has sugar in the title. How about just cinnamon? Okay, I’ll try that. Cinnamon has a bite. I’m not sold that it made it sweeter, but it definitely did add a certain jenasayqua (this is how I think je ne sais quoi is spelled….prior to looking it up…) to the naked apple.
Listen, maybe a “detox” of sorts isn’t necessary. Maybe I should just try to regain balance in my life between eating healthfully in moderation and being physically active. But, I look at this detox as a way to show myself that I am in control of what I’m eating. I am stronger than those GD Luther Vandross bastard chocolates! Whoa. Sorry. That came out of nowhere. Detox’s can do that…
4 Days Down.