Please Don’t Make Me Sell That

Dear Every PTA Member Ever,

Hello.  My name is Chick E.  I am the mother of a Kindergarten student who recently brought home six, yes, SIX, different catalogs from which to try and extract money from her friends and family for overpriced items that nobody needs.  Ever.  

Sorry for that slight rant.  Listen, I am very, very thankful for all that you do.  I understand that my kids’ school is a better place because of you.  I know how hard fundraising is.  It is a thankless, tireless effort that you all do because you love your kids and you love your towns.


I feel like it helps to hear it from Ryan…

Now, having said that…please stop making me sell this stuff.  OK?  I don’t want to follow my child around my neighborhood, as she gets repeatedly rejected.  I don’t want to see her cry when she doesn’t sell enough items to get the prize she REALLY REALLY wanted.  I don’t want my friends and family to avoid me for two weeks because I’m carrying around an armload of catalogs, trying desperately to sell anything, just one thing!  What I am being made to sell, is incredibly overpriced, and we all know it.  Also remember the days when kids just sold wrapping paper??  I do.  This year, if you wanted a Jeep or a salami or a candle, you could’ve bought it from my kid.  Seriously. 

So, can we revisit this for next year?  Before you get my kid all psyched up in some pep rally to sell all the things, to win all the prizes?  Because listen, it is sooooooooooooooooooo much easier for me to just A) write you a donation check and B) buy my kid a crappy Minion keychain, than to try and sell Jeeps and salamis.  Maybe we take that route going forward?  My route?

Let’s talk.

Heart you, PTA.  I really do.

-Chick E


This is not the worst idea. If you want to raise some serious cash, you’ll consider it.

3 responses to “Please Don’t Make Me Sell That

  1. I totally agree. I throw those catalogs right in the trash. I would much rather write a check. I certainly don’t have time to sell that crap on their behalf nor do I want to torture my coworkers with it.


  2. I agree, just ask for a damn donation and let’s move on. Can’t be bothered with selling overpriced items to family and friends who now don’t want to know you. Enough.


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