An Open Apology to my Parents

Dear Mom and Dad,

It’s taken me quite a few years, and having two kids of my own, to realize that kids can be a little bit jerky.  I wanted to take this opportunity to apologize to you.  For what?  Everything.  Every little ahole-ish thing I have ever done.  I won’t even try to assign a number value.  There are probably too many to count.

Remember that time I bought a brand new car?  Like brand spanking new?  Right out of college?  Before I even had a job?  Even after you told me not to?  I’m sorry.

And that time I won a scholarship my freshman year of college, and there was a luncheon for all the recipients and I pitched a huge fit about going to it, as we were walking to it, and you finally threw in the towel and we didn’t go?  Ugh.  I’m sorry.  I was a total B that day.  I just really wanted to hang out with my friends.

I’m so sorry for all of the times I fought you about going to bed.  I now know how right you were.  Sleeping is the best.

I’m also sorry that I used to constantly keep the heat at 70 degrees, and would even sneak down sometimes in the middle of the night to turn it up. I really liked being warm.  I must’ve cost you a fortune in oil.

Remember that hideous (sorry but it was) orange arm chair we used to have in the living room?  I’m sorry that I used to hide behind it and wipe boogers on it.  Your other daughter used to do it too so……maybe that makes it less on me? (This was also freshman year of college. KIDDING! I was like 6.)

I’m sorry for my attitude in general, and for all the time I fouled out of basketball games, and all of the technical fouls I got. And for that time I threw my mouthguard and it hit my coach. Yikes. 😐

I’m sorry I spent, like ALL of your money. Or as much as I could possibly get my hands on. I’m sorry that to this day I still want to spend your money instead of mine. It just feels better for some reason when it comes from your parents. Don’t worry…karma got me good on this one. 

That’s all I’ve got for today. Feel free to comment on this post with all of the other bullsh*t I pulled. There’s also stuff I pulled that you don’t know about that I don’t feel the need to confess right here, right now. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! Thanks for putting up with me. The panda says it best.

-Chick E